On the days that I have some luxury time, I spend it viewing WhatsApp statuses, checking gossip blogs, and Instagram reels. I fear for the men of the time and the time of the future if what I see keeps prevailing. It’s like a war.

I think I was so odd that my sister feared for the ladies I’d dated when I was younger. It’s still too common today what I experienced back in dating.

In school, it was weird how ladies shift their dependence on you just because you both got into a relationship. You are both students, so why the heck would she give you a list of her groceries?

Demands like pants, bra, perfume, deodorants, and body creams should be your father’s duty. Why hand over his duty to a fellow student like yourself? Why burden another person’s child with such demands in the name of love? I didn’t get it.

In University, the first time I visited a girl I was interested in, she told me that three other guys had come with gifts to see her and asked why I hadn’t come with any gift. That was my last visit to her. I am visiting you in your hostel so we can gist and laugh, and you are wondering about a gift? Oh well..

In Nigeria, if you want to go see a woman, you’ll have to pay for your transportation to go see her. You don’t need to ask her for money for transportation. If you want her to come see you, however, you’ll have to pay for her transportation. I’ve never been able to come to terms with the reality of the Nigerian dating situation.

When I got out of Nigeria to Italy for the first time, I found out that my thoughts weren’t strange. I hung out with ladies who’d pay their half of the bill, we spent entertaining ourselves. She’d drive home without asking for petrol. Gifting the ones I spent a lot of time with for the twelve months I stayed there wasn’t due to pressure to prove affection, but as a gesture for someone I enjoyed spending time with.

It’s strange, almost ironic, that despite my limited knowledge of feminism, I felt compelled to include this topic in the book.

When I hear equality, I wonder if this equality is really equal and if it can even be equal, given how men and women are socialised in Nigeria.

Feminism is no longer just a curious itch for me but something that demands understanding. The word “feminism” has gotten a bad rep over the years, and I can’t help but blame the internet for much of this negativity.

But what exactly is feminism, and is it still relevant today?