I’m writing this blog post from the city of Abuja, Nigeria.

This is my first time staying at a hotel that uses Starlink, and I must say, it’s been an outstanding experience. I’ve stayed in countless hotels over the years, including some that were far more expensive, but this one truly stands out. The management here deserves a round of applause for their exceptional efforts.

Full DSTV bouquet that lets me enjoy Premiership over the Easter weekend. Smart TV that lets me see my favourite movies on Netflix and YouTube that lets me listen to my fave smart minds. The speed of the internet got me reflecting—it’s frustrating how often I’ve paid premium rates for hotel rooms, only to be handed a WiFi password that connects me to a sluggish network, as if waiting for a 90-year-old to finish a 200-meter sprint. At least this time, I made the most of it by finally updating my iPhone after months of procrastination.

I’m here at the behest of Squadron Leader Alexander Emmanuel who launched his 4th book on Holy Saturday.

Around 2018, my late friend Promise Excel introduced me to Squadron Leader Alexander Emmanuel in Port Harcourt. I met him inside the Nigeria Airforce Base in Port Harcourt. Then, he was Flight Lieutenant. Having gotten remarkable success in marketing books, Promise Excel thought it wise to have me connect to him as he was in the phase of launching his book titled Omo.

When I sat down in his office in Port Harcourt and he laid his plans, I wondered why he needed me in the first place. He had it all laid out. His plans were spectacular. Nevertheless, I contributed my ideas and thoughts. He made me the Book Reviewer at the event. The book had a song theme. Invitations were sent to high and mighty.

Sadly, I couldn’t be at the launch due to a shift in elections and the new date coincided with another event I was to speak at. The launch was massive. The book sold 10,000 copies that day. Ever since then, I’ve maintained my relationship with him. Last year he sat on the panel alone and shared his remarkable stories and strategies at Conversations With A Don.

As the plane ascended into the clouds that Friday, my thoughts wandered to the moments when people had asked me, not to speak or perform, but simply to be there at their events. What was it about my presence that compelled them to go to such lengths—booking return flights, ensuring every detail of my comfort, and expressing genuine joy just because I showed up?

I’ll explore a few reasons. To some, it’s a show of care, love, loyalty or solidarity. Being present in person lends some realness. To some, it’s a reflection of social status, connection or political affiliations. Culturally, a lot of our important events are rituals, and rituals often depend on presence. Whether it’s sitting in the pews at a wedding or showing up at a family dinner, there’s something about presence that completes the ritual.

There’s the unique one – the presence of the gift. Being gifted and utilising that gift opens all sorts of doors. It does.

The consequence of being gifted is your feeling that people want to use you without feeling your humanity. Absence of the gifting can lead to a detachment by them. That can be quite painful because you yearn for people to see you, but they’re only seeing you through the lens of the gift. It hurts.